Wednesday, 27 August 2008

Six weeks and counting

For years now, I have harboured secret fantasies of defying the odds and falling pregnant without medical intervention. Latterly, these fantasies have also involved my triumphant revenge over Dr Abrupt. I imagined myself breaking the news of a spontaneous conception to him. That would be him well and truly shown and told, I thought to myself.

But the gap between fantasy and reality is inevitably huge. And so this morning I did not march into Dr Abrupt's office and tell him where to stick his dildo cam and his syringes of FSH. Instead, I babbled about possibly faulty pee sticks. I told him about a dog I had as a child that suffered from repeated phantom pregnancies. Fortunately, he cut me off just as I was about to launch into a story about Anna O, Joseph Breuer's famous patient, and her hysterical pregnancy. "Why don't we do a scan and see what we can see?" he asked patiently.

And there it was - what Dr A described as a 'perfectly normal and healthy six week pregnancy'. He pointed out the pregnancy sac and, nestled inside the sac, was a little tiny bean just over 1/2 centimetre in length. Could I see that small pulsating dot, he asked. "That's the baby's heart beating."

And that tiny flickering somehow made it much easier for me to believe in this pregnancy. Obviously, it's still incredibly early, but my sense of hope is growing stronger along with my symptoms.

Dr A told me that I should now go ahead an appointment with the midwife at my GP's practice, as there are decisions we need to make with regard to antenatal care. "If I had conceived through IVF, you'd scan me again in another couple of weeks here at the Great Big Infertility Clinic, wouldn't you?" I asked. "Not necessarily," he replied, "if we see a heart beat and everything looks normal at six weeks, we'll generally just refer you back to your GP." "But what about hysterically over-anxious women who've already had one miscarriage?"

"Oh, well," he smiled. "We do make an exception for them. We can fit you in for a second scan on Tuesday 9 September, if you like."

And so it seems that I am destined to continue to living my life in two week increments.

16 comments:

BB and MTB said...

I remember seeing the tiniest heartbeat at 6 weeks, and it is amazing. Good luck as you continue your perfect and uneventful (as in super easy) pregnancy! Conrgats again!!

Lisa said...

So happy to see more good news! That little flicker is such a comfort. Can't wait to hear more about everything as you count down the (two) weeks.

Mrs.X said...

I am thrilled beyond words for you, my dear. I had to laugh a little at your extensive attempts to talk it all away - it is very real and I'm so thrilled that you got that confirmation. And, good for Dr. Abrupt for allowing you some extra coddling. You've earned it.

As for the two week increments, I have no advice other than just take one day at a time and you will be fine.

Shinejil said...

OH BOY oh boy! I'm so happy to hear that the scan went well. YEAH!

Nananny boo boo Dr. Abrupt! (I'm saying it so you can retain your cool, calm dignity.) :)

loribeth said...

Being nice pays off, lol. ; ) Congratulations!

s.e. said...

Yeah for you!! A heartbeat and an extra ultrasound.

Believe and breathe. You can do this!

womb for improvement said...

You give me hope...

annacyclopedia said...

Two week increments are much more manageable than the entire nebulous future. You can do this.

And I am so ridiculously happy for you. In your face, Dr. Abrupt!

Lisa said...

Reading this made me smile for you!

Gina said...

That is so awesome!! Congrats and I hope you have a long boring normal pregnancy ;)

Hekateris said...

I just squeed a little.

It gets better as time goes on...

Kath said...

Dear Ms. Heathen, after just reading your whole back story, I just wanted to tell you how thrilled I am to read about this scan. What wonderful, wonderful news! May it keep getting better and better.

I'll be following along and hoping with you.

J.J said...

Reading this just made my day.

Sending all positive thought waves in your direction.

Deborah said...

I am glad that the scan went well. I hope that it helped, even if just a little bit, ease your mind. Thinking of you and keeping you in my prayers for a healthy and event free thirty plus more weeks!

Lisa Rullsenberg said...

Sometimes coming back online after a long break can bring the most incredible and wonderful news.

Thinking of you all much xx

Malloryn said...

This is wonderful news! I'm thinking positive thoughts for you. Perhaps the two-week intervals will be a bit easier to stomach? Congratulations :)