Saturday, 3 May 2008

In which things go from bad to worse

For the past week, I have been taking the maximum recommended dose of 450iu meno.pur per day. Today, we went back to the Great Big Infertility Clinic, where the dildo cam revealed that I have precisely two viable follicles, each measuring 16mm. There is another one currently limping along at 11mm, and a number of smaller ones which will not catch up in time for retrieval.

As if that was not bad enough, a polyp has suddenly appeared on the wall of my uterus.

We are going ahead with retrieval on Tuesday. Even if the two viable follicles do both contain fully mature eggs, and even if those eggs then fertilise, any resulting embryo(s) will have to be frozen until the polyp has either been shed with my next period, or surgically removed.

Crap. Crap. Crap. Crap.

Dr Approachable tells me that I should not give up all hope. He is not willing definitively to diagnose diminished ovarian reserve until after retrieval, at which point they will be able to assess the quality of my eggs. There is still a chance that the two follicles may yet yield two high quality eggs, which may well go on to fertilise. He reassured me that, if this is the case, our chances of a successful pregnancy will not be substantially reduced if we do have to freeze the resulting embryos. But I am not getting my hopes up. It seems that more and more obstacles are being placed in our way. And so, on the way home in the car, we had our first serious conversation about what we will do if we cannot have a child through IVF/ICSI: do we go down the donor egg route, do we begin to explore adoption, or do we start trying to come to terms with involuntary childlessness?


Jendeis said...

I'm so sorry about this bad news. Hoping that things work out for the good for you guys.

luna said...

I'm so sorry to hear this. I want to believe dr. a that these could be two perfectly viable and fertilizable eggs. so let's go with that for now, ok? I'm sorry abut the polyp though. why can't this just be easy? or at least easier? hoping for the best possible outcome for you. ~luna

jp said...

I am sorry about this. Sending good thoughts that both of your follicles are mature and fertilize.
The polyp thing sucks, how are they just finding this now??

Mrs.X said...

Wanted: one break. I think it is your turn to get one!

That really sucks about the low response and the polyp that moved in. Still, sending good thoughts for the retrieval on Tuesday and even if you can't have an immediate transfer, I really hope you get some good embryos!

kate said...

Ugh. I'm so sorry. What a crap lot to deal with.

annacyclopedia said...

I'm so sorry you had to receive this news. I will be keeping you in my thoughts and prayers that these two eggs will mature, be healthy, fertilise, implant and grow into healthy children for you. But it is so hard to be faced with obstacle after obstacle, and I'm so very sorry that you've arrived at this place.

Lisa said...

Well, this just sucks -- I'm so sorry you're dealing with this. Count me in for sending thoughts and prayers that those 2 fighters are doing just great and will form strong embies for you to transfer once the polyp situation has been cleared up.

Try to hang in. I know it's tough. Thinking of you!