For the past week, I have been taking the maximum recommended dose of 450iu meno.pur per day. Today, we went back to the Great Big Infertility Clinic, where the dildo cam revealed that I have precisely two viable follicles, each measuring 16mm. There is another one currently limping along at 11mm, and a number of smaller ones which will not catch up in time for retrieval.
As if that was not bad enough, a polyp has suddenly appeared on the wall of my uterus.
We are going ahead with retrieval on Tuesday. Even if the two viable follicles do both contain fully mature eggs, and even if those eggs then fertilise, any resulting embryo(s) will have to be frozen until the polyp has either been shed with my next period, or surgically removed.
Crap. Crap. Crap. Crap.
Dr Approachable tells me that I should not give up all hope. He is not willing definitively to diagnose diminished ovarian reserve until after retrieval, at which point they will be able to assess the quality of my eggs. There is still a chance that the two follicles may yet yield two high quality eggs, which may well go on to fertilise. He reassured me that, if this is the case, our chances of a successful pregnancy will not be substantially reduced if we do have to freeze the resulting embryos. But I am not getting my hopes up. It seems that more and more obstacles are being placed in our way. And so, on the way home in the car, we had our first serious conversation about what we will do if we cannot have a child through IVF/ICSI: do we go down the donor egg route, do we begin to explore adoption, or do we start trying to come to terms with involuntary childlessness?