First appointment

When I was three, Father Christmas brought me a doll's cot. It was painted lemon yellow, and was made up with teeny-tiny sheets and pillows, and a patchwork quilt (I later learnt that my grandmother had made all of these, and had sent them up to Lapland for Santa to deliver). When I peeked under the quilt, I found a ragdoll lying there fast asleep. I immediately named her LoobyLoo, and she remained one of my most stalwart companions over the next few years.

A few years ago, when my father moved house, my doll's cot was unearthed in one of the farthest corners of the loft. My father and stepmother insisted on packing it up and taking it with them to their new house, 'for when we have our grandchildren over to play'. It now sits, empty and reproachful, in their garage. Unfortunately, LoobyLoo has gone forever; she did not come to light in the move.

Thirty-three years later, the doll's cot remains My Best Christmas Present Ever. This morning's IVF goody bag does not come close: unpacking my very own miniature sharps bin does not fill me with anything like the same sense of wonder and excitement. I thought I would feel more gung-ho about finally starting treatment, but have to say that the whole thing felt like a bit of an anti-climax. We had been told that the appointment would take about an hour, and I'd assumed that the consultant would spend the time talking us through the protocol he had prescribed for us, and that we would have time to ask any lingering questions. In fact, we were in and out in fifteen minutes: a quick probe with the dildo cam confirmed that I had ovulated this month, and was OK to start treatment, and then the rest of the time was taken up signing various consent forms.

For the down reg phase, I was given a choice between Buserelin injections, or Nafarelin nasal spray. Because I'm still a little freaked out by the thought of injecting myself, I elected to go for the Nafarelin (3 sprays a day, eight hours apart). Have taken my first spray, and am now waiting for the first of the long list of side effects listed in the information leaflet to appear!