Tuesday, 24 February 2009

Things I have learnt from having the builders in

  1. That all tradesmen can drink copious amounts of extremely strong tea and are 'quite partial to a biscuit should you happen to have any in the cupboard, love.'
  2. That the plasterer does not hold with women working. We should all stay at home and bake cakes, apparently.
  3. That the plumber is 'so fertile that he only has to look at his wife to get her pregnant.' He has as a consequence had a vasectomy. So too has the plasterer.
  4. That the electrician is a man of few words. For this small mercy, I am grateful.
  5. That the joiner is a huge Michael Jackson fan and can hit nearly all of the high notes when singing along to 'Bad'.
  6. That, given all the dust, noise and general upheaval, it is now looking increasingly unlikely that I will manage to submit my PhD dissertation before the baby is due.

8 comments:

Malloryn said...

Wow, that sounds like quite an... interesting crew! This has the makings of a new reality TV series. I hope that they will be finished soon so that you can have some peace.

Shinejil said...

That sounds like the worst possible dissertating environment! Perhaps you need to pack up your books, notes, computer, and whatnot and send yourself on a little working vacation to the south of France.

Let that Mr. Heathen deal with the fertile plumber and the falsetto.

Lisa said...

Oh, no way can you write with any consistency in that environment. Hope you can find a different workspace (do you have an office space on campus, or could you beg for one?) or work things out with your dept/committee so it's not such a worry while you're in the homestretch of your pregnancy. Sounds stressful!

womb for improvement said...

All sounds very conducive to work. Will getting an extension be OK? Mr Heathen has some serious making up to do!

Lisa Rullsenberg said...

Urgh - empathies. May your writing have peace whenever possible. most of all, look after yourself.

annacyclopedia said...

I'm with Shinejil - get thee to the south of France! Or perhaps you can just stock up on cheap biscuits and keep feeding them - surely they can't talk and sing if their mouths are constantly full.

The secret diary of an infertile said...

Sounds like fun! Hope you manage to get your work done before the little one arrives.

Coming2Terms said...

this cracked me up. we had our own odd assortment of disclosures inappropriate and otherwise while our house was overrun with tradesmen. One of the carpenter is the early days like to tune his radio to a morning show that encouraged women each morning at 8:00 am to compete for the best orgasm sounds -- quite the crowd pleaser amid the guys. I tried to get out of the house before said competition was blasted throughout the house...