tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-416163271277237319.post6559321491460881662..comments2023-10-28T10:15:45.901+01:00Comments on Reproductively Challenged: End of termMs Heathenhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06404067891155971103noreply@blogger.comBlogger9125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-416163271277237319.post-57337908307266554312008-12-22T18:20:00.000+00:002008-12-22T18:20:00.000+00:00As others have said, there's no right or wrong...a...As others have said, there's no right or wrong...and it's completely understandable why you would want to move slowly with bonding as a form of protection. <BR/><BR/>Wishing you much joy and happiness as you celebrate this holiday season.Pamela T.https://www.blogger.com/profile/11474998003921896431noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-416163271277237319.post-31449719998225429002008-12-21T17:49:00.000+00:002008-12-21T17:49:00.000+00:00As with all aspects of this pregnancy, you have ha...As with all aspects of this pregnancy, you have had to make your own way emotionally and I think you are doing beautifully. Truly, a blueprint for the rest of us who deal with pregnancy after loss. <BR/><BR/>As for the books, I say write your own. I would read it. Congrats on your continued success and I so look forward to your continued good news, now and in April.Mrs.Xhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/03810703338888705439noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-416163271277237319.post-69684594475473316002008-12-21T01:19:00.000+00:002008-12-21T01:19:00.000+00:00Have a great Xmas and New year. There is no right...Have a great Xmas and New year. There is no right or wrong way to experience anything - least of all something like pregnancy. You will find your own way through this, together.<BR/><BR/>With much love and kindest thoughts<BR/>xxxLisa Rullsenberghttps://www.blogger.com/profile/02020425273742237299noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-416163271277237319.post-19917523973959399532008-12-19T16:43:00.000+00:002008-12-19T16:43:00.000+00:00this is a lovely and honest post. I especially lo...this is a lovely and honest post. I especially love the line anna singled out too. <BR/><BR/>glad your therapist has provided such consistent solid support. and hope you may enjoy the rest of your time until you meet your little one.lunahttps://www.blogger.com/profile/15455301696832647867noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-416163271277237319.post-3427127639517585482008-12-18T17:07:00.000+00:002008-12-18T17:07:00.000+00:00I think this idea of bonding is a new one, cultura...I think this idea of bonding is a new one, cultural rather than biological. I don't think it's a reasonable expectation for women like us who have not had the easiest time with these transitions. I think setting the books and the expectations aside and just letting what will happen emotionally happen might make things less painful. Sounds like your therapist is providing excellent support.<BR/><BR/>My suspicions are that the myth of glowing pregnancy is a ploy, to get us to love what is essentially a pretty rough process physically and emotionally, or at least to save others from our suffering by pretending to love it.<BR/><BR/>You don't have to love it. You can be scared. You're going to make it through. This is your unique experience. It won't be by the book, emotionally.<BR/><BR/>Sending warm wishes for a hopeful and happy holiday to you and yours.Shinejilhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/03353174053245279899noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-416163271277237319.post-36104659528529449342008-12-18T09:07:00.000+00:002008-12-18T09:07:00.000+00:00Welcome back! 22 weeks, wow! I hate the fact tha...Welcome back! 22 weeks, wow! I hate the fact that infertility takes away the (textbook) enjoyment of pregnancy. I think if I had managed to hold on to the pregnancy I had after only three months of trying that I would have been one of those blissful expectant mothers but (fingers crossed) if I get pregnant again I know that I will struggle to enjoy the experience as I will be so worried about what could potentially go wrong. I will also stop myself from connecting to the baby until it is crying in my arms. Don't beat yourself up about the way you are feeling. You will love this baby when you hold it in your arns in April.Secret Dhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/02864030958537218351noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-416163271277237319.post-24397319540873936692008-12-18T03:07:00.000+00:002008-12-18T03:07:00.000+00:00Of course you're not bonding immediately. One of ...Of course you're not bonding immediately. One of the side effects of infertility is an utter disbelief that what's happening is actually happening. When we expected to be pregnant and aren't, we're surprised an in some level of denial. So, why should it be any different when we've had so many disappointments to completely believe and accept that we are, in fact pregnant.<BR/><BR/>But, my dear, you are 22 weeks already!! You are, indeed, pregnant! Very pregnant!Lisahttps://www.blogger.com/profile/11473046279048522079noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-416163271277237319.post-46960517925957145542008-12-17T22:45:00.000+00:002008-12-17T22:45:00.000+00:00Good to have you back. I'm not surprised that you ...Good to have you back. I'm not surprised that you are having difficulty letting yourself bond, you're still in self protect mode. (How's that for pub psychology?!) How exciting to feel the movement though.Lizhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/07336643483655255680noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-416163271277237319.post-23929277183025260392008-12-17T22:38:00.000+00:002008-12-17T22:38:00.000+00:00This is such an amazingly beautiful post, Ms. H. Y...This is such an amazingly beautiful post, Ms. H. Your insight rings very true for me, although I've yet to be in your (hopefully not growing) shoes. And I think this is true not just for those of us who struggle to have a child, but also for many women who conceive easily. There is so much pressure on us to bond instantly, to start glowing immediately, to be radiant with motherhood - and it's all just more of the usual crap we face as woman. The fact is that what you are doing in bringing a new life into the world is incredibly heavy and life-changing. My experience with heavy and life-changing experiences is that they are rarely blissful, but instead fraught with anxiety, struggle, doubt, and a deep questioning of everything. I am so glad that you have reached the point of being able to start to open to the fluttering little one's presence and all that comes with that, and I am also very glad that I have the benefit of hearing your honest and truthful account of how you got there. Thank you for this post. <BR/><BR/>I especially love this: "Sometimes it takes a little time before we can allow ourselves to enter into such a fragile space of co-becoming." I think that might have to go up on my fridge for a while - there is so much truth in that for life in general, not just for pregnancy. <BR/><BR/>Wishing you much peace for the holidays and for the New Year.annacyclopediahttps://www.blogger.com/profile/10461037288546901657noreply@blogger.com